Today I was reminded of an experiment by Professor Carol Dweck of Stanford University. This experiment is also narrated in Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen’s book Thanks for the Feedback.

When we fail, do we go back into the shadow OR assert, ‘I haven’t succeeded YET’?

Dweck brought children to her lab and had them engage with progressively tougher puzzles. As the puzzles got more challenging, about half of the kids grew frustrated, disengaged, and finally gave up.

The other half kept going.

• Fixed mindset: The ones who gave up quicker did so out of discouragement, impatience, and embarrassment. They enjoyed the puzzles that made them look smart, but decided to quit as the puzzles made them feel dumb.
• Growth mindset: In contrast, the kids who persisted viewed the tough puzzles as fun games that challenged them to improve. They didn’t even think they were failing—they thought they were learning.

Dweck noticed that the progression through the puzzles had little to do with interest or aptitude, and more to do with the OUTLOOK.

So many times throughout the day, I notice ourselves (including me) shy away because we’re afraid to look bad.

We’re afraid to speak up in meetings, try a new approach, ask for a raise, apply for a new position, or say our names in the Indian accent (still work-in-progress for me). What learning opportunity did we just lose when we did that? What would it look like if we side-stepped our fear of looking dumb and just did it? What’s the worst that could happen?